Comedy Tonight

Comedy Tonight
Playgoers, I bid welcome. The theatre is a temple, and we are here to worship the gods of comedy and tragedy. Tonight, I am pleased to announce a comedy. We shall employ every device we know in our desire to divert you

Something familiar
Something peculiar
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!
Something appealing
Something appalling
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!
Nothing with kings, nothing with crowns;
Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns!
Old situations
New complications
Nothing portentous or polite;
Tragedy tomorrow
Comedy tonight!
Something convulsive
Something repulsive
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!
Something aesthetic
Something frenetic
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!
Nothing with gods, nothing with fate;
Weighty affairs will just have to wait!
Nothing that's formal
Nothing that's normal
No recitations to recite;
Open up the curtain:
Comedy tonight!

Something erratic
Something dramatic
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!
Frenzy and frolic
Strictly symbolic
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!
Something familiar
Something peculiar
Something for everybody:
Comedy tonight!
Now the entire company!
Something familiar
Something peculiar
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!
Something that's gaudy
Something that's bawdy--
Something for everybody!
Comedy tonight!
Nothing that's grim
Nothing that's Greek
She plays Medea later this week
Stunning surprises!
Cunning disguises!
Hundreds of actors out of sight!
Pantaloons and tunics!
Courtesans and eunuchs!
Funerals and chases!
Baritones and basses!
Panderers!
Philanderers!
Cupidity!
Timidity!
Mistakes!
Fakes!
Rhymes!
Mimes!
Tumblers!
Grumblers!
Bumblers!
Fumblers!

No royal curse, no Trojan horse
And a happy ending, of course!
Goodness and badness
Panic is madness--
This time it all turns out all right!
Tragedy tomorrow
Comedy tonight!
One, two, three!