I Do My Crosswords In Pen

I Do My Crosswords In Pen
Ink bleeds deeper when pressed hard
Soaks through paper and leaves stains on the table
You don't look how I pictured
You don't look quite how I remember
I'll tell myself
I cannot surround me
But some smiles both resurrect
And drain the life from me
I don't tell you everything
It's heartless
The picture remind me
Call used to smile