A Lazarus Envy

A Lazarus Envy
Last night I realized
My excitement for
Events that were
Not yet my life
Upon return
It's all in the past
It's all a memory
All my life is
Is this moment
And what I can remember
What I cannot see
Does not exist
And to think I
Would have mourned
I fell in love with life

What I cannot see
Does not exist
All my life is memories
To last night
We're shells
We're nothings