You're Pitiful

You're Pitiful
You're Pitiful
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(Parody of "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt)
My life is brilliant
[What, was I too early -
Oh, sorry, should I -
Do you want to start over, or -
Keep going - okay… now, now?]

My life is brilliant
Your life’s a joke
You’re just pathetic
You’re always broke
Your homemade Star Trek uniform
Really ain’t impressin’ me
You’re sufferin’ from delusions of adequacy
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful, it’s true
Never had a date
That you couldn’t inflate
And you smell repulsive, too
What a bummer bein’ you
Well you just can’t dance
And forget romance
Everybody you know still calls ya
Farty pants
But you’ll always have a job
Well, I mean…
As long as you still can work that Slurpie machine
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful, it’s true
You’re half undressed
Eating chips off your chest
While you’re playin’ Halo 2
No one’s classier than you
La-la-la-la
La-la-la-la
La-la-la-la loser

You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful
You’re pitiful, it’s true
Your dog would much rather
Play fetch by itself
You still live with your mom and you’re 42
Guess you’ll never grow a clue
Well, it just sucks to be you