Depression

Depression
My thought patterns are composed by a time-bomb for an author
Like pigs to the slaugther
A symphony of self doubt sings out, breath starts getting shorter
Runningn water is the state that I whis to become
Instead concrete envelopes my movement and I am rendered deaf and dumb
Unable to heed the advice of others...
Don't tell me things will get better...
'Cause so far things haven't gotten better , I've got the sweater
Poster child Bipolar, ADHD
Therapists wet dream

I don't want to talk about my father
I don't want to talk about my dead friend
I don't want to talk about myself
I'm sick of talking about myself
I'm sick of talking about myself and realising that talking about myself never, ever helps
Still... I call for help
'Cause I really want help
But the pills didn't seem to help
And the therapists didn't seem to help
But still... I want help
I've danced with the devil in hell
I've sat in a prisonless cell
And here I always dwell...
In this prison in myself
I do this thing where my mind travels back to the golden age, you know those times where you were carefree and everything was golden?
The golden age.
You know those times where everything was golden?
Where you were carefree and everything was golden.
The hardest thing I ever had to do was come to terms with the fact that...
That time never really existed...
I've always felt so fuc*** detached
And brocken, bruised, and mismatched
Find it hard to relax
Living under the cracks
Try to fill in the gaps
Lying here on my back
Still, I can't find it,
Sense of space, yeah?
My mind declined it
Pulse increased and my sweat combines with
I feeling so deep I fall inside it...
DEPRESSION
I hate you depression
You constant oppression
Respond with agression
They say depression brings you lessons
Constant stressing conceals blessings
You will grow in broken settings
F*** those lessons,
F*** depression
I've been living in your shadow for so long that I forgot how I can shine
How I can find q refuge in my mind.
How am I meant to sit here and unwind?
The planets align,
I feel like I'm cursed.
Fell like I'm cursed to just be here to hurt
I feel like I'm cursed to just be here to bleed with my demons.
Been feeling this way since birth.
Depression
I hate you depression.
I hate you depression.
I hate you depression.
I hate you depression.
I hate you depression.