How Do I Look From There

How Do I Look From There
How do I look from there?
Is it as bad as it feels right here?
Cuz my head is stuck in gear
Tremendous noise between my ears
And I've seen some mean ass years
Sometimes I feel like the end is near
But I won't shed a tear
Cuz that's my biggest fear

Living to die, give me the lies
I stare in the sky, a tear in my eye
I wipe it away, deny what I feel
And hide from myself, I'm losing my will
I give and I take it
Every which way that I can
I cannot continue to battle
Me myself as man you understand
I know you got something better
Than whatever be sitting up inside of me
I'm hiding myself in the shadows beside of me
How do I look from there?
Is it as bad as it feels right here?
Cuz my head is stuck in gear
Tremendous noise between my ears
And I've seen some mean ass years
Sometimes I feel like the end is near
But I won't shed a tear
Cuz that's my biggest fear
Losing control, it's bruising my soul
It hurts me to think, I pour me a drink
If that ain't enough, my heron bone gotta kink
My eyes are so red, blood drips when I blink
Head screams like a rape date
And I think I need a drink but I can't wait
Everyday I find another way to tempt fate
Born to fight I was trouble out the damn gate
And I try to keep it real but I stay fake
Like 5 in the morning really ain't late
And you hate to wait on the daybreak
Two fingers on my neck and I check my rate I shake and...

How do I look from there?
Is it as bad as it feels right here?
Cuz my head is stuck in gear
Tremendous noise between my ears
And I've seen some mean ass years
Sometimes I feel like the end is near
But I won't shed a tear
Cuz that's my biggest fear
Never could live up to lies
You lite up my life and just left it on ice
And thought that you might be different
But didn't apply the time a idiot shit head kid like me
Does to fight inadequate feelings and now to get even
No doubt as I'm leaving the house
And disease and my spouse is the reason
I doubt that I'll even be 'round this evening
Now its freaking me out this aluminum can
Brew in my hand to give me some damn peace
Do what I can to be free of insanity
Yet for the 30th time, its curtains and Im
Searching to find a prettier mind
My luck is certainly shitty its blind
This wall gon' need a rope climbing up

How do I look from there?
Is it as bad as it feels right here?
Cuz my head is stuck in gear
Tremendous noise between my ears
And I've seen some mean ass years
Sometimes I feel like the end is near
But I won't shed a tear
Cuz that's my biggest fear