The Marrying Kind

The Marrying Kind
If you leave her now
You ain't never gonna see her again
She's gonna need a shoulder to cry on
She's gonna need a friend
She's gonna need a pillow case
Something to put those tears on
And I've got some purple satin laces
One second later than the second you're gone

She's gonna miss you at first
But then she's gonna buy me things
That's when I'm gonna lay her
Across my piano stool and sing to her
[Chorus]
\"Honey, I tried to tell him
That you were the marrying kind
A faithful one-man woman
Best he would ever find
I guess he wasn't trying to hear that
So there ain't nothing left to say
I tried to tell him that if you run to me
I won't run away.\"
If you leave her now
You'll never get another glimpse
I'm gonna lace her
With enough ice to recap the pole
There might be another solar eclipse
She's gonna find out
What I like in my eggs,
My bathwater
And how a brother likes to be touched
I am gonna put her on
The same diet Missy went on
You know she eats to much tonight
She's gonna miss you at first
Then she'll get used to me
All of the tricks I would try
To make her take this ring
And make love to me
[Chorus]