From The Start

From The Start
I'm still haunted by that long drive across
the sad prairie
with the rain, smearing colors on the road
and the smell of the cattle cars
steaming by me on the highway
reminding me of the circus smells that day
How sharp my memories
how still my heart
the further i go, the more i fall apart
how bright these eyes in the bottom of my cup
how can i miss so many things,
i never had from the start
I dream i'm in a play that i've never read before
and in an hour it's being performed
and i have to wear this pink dress
and even when i'm sad i sing and dance
and i never know what line is coming next
The birds they clatter recklessly at windows
and the cars they just rattle on
but i hear lake water bumping up
against an old stone wall
and the voices of children playing on the docks