Red Rain

Red Rain
I'm going insane/I'm fine/I'm breaking inside/I'm okay/It's destroying me/It's nothing/Please help me/Don't worry about it/I'm in so much pain/Things are going good/

I can fake a smile any day, anytime/
Lay in bed thinking ‘bout what I fuc*** up in my life/
I'm tortured, by my own mind/
I guess everybody's right, I don't deserve life/
Got chances to have sex, blew each one of them/
Sis, I remember how we talked about us and harem/
Had chances to make friends, but I just don't care/
Empty and useless, I'm drowning in despair/
Writing this stupid shit, and tears are clouding my eyes/
Every fuc*** morning I really wanted to stop with all the lies/
But I know this sickness, won't let me be/
No matter how hard I tried, I never felt free/
My thoughts have destroyed me more than those blades/
I've lost count how many times on that roof I've stayed/
I'm not getting better, but getting used to the pain/
Razor, pills and knife are whispering my name/

Red rain will wash away my pain/
I see no reason in fighting against the game/
This is the last time, I promise/
I won't be doing anything cuz I've fallen/
Red rain, so cold, but here with me/
Red rain, you know I don't wanna be/
Red rain, I'm begging/
Please erase my name/
I was told to be happy, so I'm gonna kill myself/
No one's gonna miss me, when I'll be rotting in Hell/
As usual, in moment of need left alone/
I'm just an angel, who wants to go home/
I want to curl up in a hole and disappear/
Found no happiness, now I see so many things clear/
It's all in my head, I know, I'm going insane/
No heart, no soul, I feel lost inside myself/
My cuts and burns, each one a battle I've lost/
It's okay, I gave up on myself a long time ago/
I'm one of those, who aren't meant to be saved/
I'm not sure if I want to hang on anymore/
I can't escape my thoughts, no goals/
How many years will pass until they come to check up on my dead body on the floor/
I cut myself, never enough to die, never to deep/
But enough to feel the pain dancing on my cheeks/

Red rain will wash away my pain/
I see no reason in fighting against the game/
This is the last time, I promise/
I won't be doing anything cuz I've fallen/
Red rain, so cold, but here with me/
Red rain, you know I don't wanna be/
Red rain, I'm begging/
Please erase my name/
I don't know what I want in life/I don't know what I want right now/All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me and one day/there won't be any of me left/