Healing To Suffer Again

Healing To Suffer Again
I feel cheated, so I cheat myself
I feel defeated, so I defeat myself
Drown your sorrows again and again
Push away and deny this misery
These feelings and instincts remain
I'm struggling to pull myself from my grave

Let me be the one with the infinite
Let me be the one
Let me be the one with the infinite
I won't be chained to the earth
I just need the will
To suppress the urge
I can't suppress the urge
I've built so many barriers
I'm healing to suffer again
Time has given me no remorse
Spiritually bankrupt
Just give me the grace to oppose this sin
Haunted by the things I've done
Is this guilt and shame the price I pay
I hate myself for this weakness
I won't be chained to the earth