The Gnu Song

The Gnu Song
A year ago last thursday, i was strolling in the zoo
when i met a man who thought he knew the lot
he was laying down the law about the habbits of baboons
and the number of quills a porcupine has got
so i asked him "what's that creature's name?" and he answered "that's a helk!"
and i'd have gone on thinking that was true
if the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame,
and remarked—"i ain't a helk—i'm a gnu!
i'm a gnu—i'm a gnu
the g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo
i'm a gnu—how do you do?
you really oughtta g-know w-who's w-who
i'm a gnu—spelt g - n - u
i'm not a camel or a kangaroo
so let me introduce, i'm neither man nor moose
oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, i'm a gnu!"
I had taken furnished lodgings down at rustington-on-sea
whence i travelled on to aston-under-lyne
on the second night i stayed there i was wakened from a dream
which i'll tell you all about some other time
among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed
stuffed and mounted was a face i thought i knew
a bison? an oakpi? could it be a hearty beast?
then i seem to hear a voice—"i'm a gnu!
I'm a gnu—a-g-nother gnu
i wish i could g-nash my teeth at you
i'm a gnu—how do you do?
you really oughtta g-know w-who's w-who
i'm a gnu—spelt g - n - u
call me bison or okapi and i'll sue
nor am i in the least like that dreadful hearty beast
oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, i'm a gnu!
g-no, g-no, g-no, i'm a gnu!
g-no, g-no, g-no, i'm a gnu!"