The Real Slim Shady (ft. Canserbero)

The Real Slim Shady
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will, The Real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat will, The Real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin' her over furniture
It's the return of the, \"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?\"
And Dr. Dre said, nothing you idiots
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement!
Feminist women love Eminem
Chigga chigga chigga, \"Slim shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
Flippin' the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though!\"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on T.V. and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
\"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss\"
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is

Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the discovery channel don't they?
\"We ain't nothing but mammals\", well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up? (Ah, oh, Dice...)
Apenas con uso de razón en las esquinas de La Pica
mi lindo barrio donde la sangre salpica
Agobiado por problemas que a los adultos mortifican
yo, con 11 años, viendo cómo los sueños se achican

Inmaduro, hasta reggaeton pensé cantar
esperando el dinero que supuestamente iba a llegar
Con el que luz vería, con el que ayudaría
al don que en una bicicleta vendiendo helados me mantenía.
Hoy en día hablan mal de mí a la ligera
como que si me interesara, como si me conocieran
Como si supieran mi nombre real, no Canserbero
yo no soy rapero, sino que sé rimar y soy sincero, pero...
al parecer eso no importa en estos tiempos
en que pa' sonar en radio hay que cantar con otro acento o...
Decir que eres violento, como por ejemplo
esos populares raperos que están presos o muertos.
Señores, déjenme decirles que les han mentido
que lo que hasta ahora han escuchado es mie*** poco cuerda y sin sentido
Por eso siento que he sido elegido para quitar las máscaras
de esos que en vez de música hacen ruido.
Porque he aprendido del fracaso
yo no soy perfecto, man, yo soy lo que soy a punta e’ coñazos
Para que venga un falso a discutir de mi humildad,
de mi sinceridad, cuando mi lema es "ni menos ni más".

Mas que alego un pacto en el que me propuse que
crearía letras al mundo en base a lo poco que sé
y así fue como descubrí que más vale un puño arriba
que un puño e’ papeles con la cara e’ Simón Bolívar.
Mi fortuna es mi vida y hoy pocos dudan lo que diga
el Índigo, mejor conocido como "El Matamentiras"
Wannabes no captan que somos los prodigies
entre enemies que quieren competir, real Hip-Hop it is.
Hablando a la clara no somos del montón
dedicado también a los oyentes tras el telón
que en cada canción suben la mano a la ligera
quizás por eso no hizo música bailable Alí Primera.
Es que me da arrechera que se crean número uno
títeres que no mueven las neuronas, pero sí el culo
Algunos de ellos doblan temas en tarima
montan bailarinas mientras te dicen que asesinan.
Si oyes bien sus beats, son casi casi reggaeton
y oyes bien sus flows, son peores que Snoop Dogg o Lil' Jon.
Na', come on, son, ustedes son una falta de respeto
a la gente de verdad y a la forma de vivir en el ghetto.

De paso ofenden a los que sí sacan cara por esto
si temen al perro: no me vean, déjenlo quieto
Chaquetas, lentejuelas, cadenas, lentes y anillos;
poses en la portada, cejas sacadas, zarcillos.
Esa mie*** no es Hip-Hop, entiendan de una vez por todas
que hay gente real, no toda son títeres de la moda, you
Micrófonos, puños arriba
I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records
Well I do, so f*** him and f*** you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
\"But slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?\"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first

You little bitch, put me on blast on M.T.V
\"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!\"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a f*** like me
Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me
'Cause I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin' you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums

It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirting
Pinchin' nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with jergens
And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a slim shady lurkin'
He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
Or in the parkin' lot, circling, screaming, \"I don't give a f***!\"
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Ha ha
Guess there's a slim shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up