Leering sky

Leering sky
Torture began a long time ago
As I lost my childhood ideas
A notion of death invaled my mind
Dark clouds of nervous breakdown
And captured my mental health
Under the shadow of the great reaper

Today each hour in a torment, I'm looking for a providential help
But my nearest relatives don't understand, they don't understand
I'm just different, boring, unimportant scrap
It's not sensibility, everything's my fault
So I hate myself, I become a drug addict
Since I know I'll never find the necessary relief
To escape from the daily agony
It's like a fuc*** rope breaking my neck
A noxious influence, I'm a human wreck
Maybe one day will come the curing light
For now distress is my only company
This destructive pain absorbs my last will
I'm falling in the ravine of despair
Waiting for the end of that story
Holy recovery or abyss of death ?