Funny Hunny

Funny Hunny
[Announcer]
For her first number, Ms. Roxie Hart
would like to sing a song of Loving
Devotion. Dedicated to her dear husband, Amos.
[Roxie]
Sometime's I'm right
Sometime's I'm wrong
But he doesn't care
He'll String along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
Sometime's I'm down
Sometime's I'm up
But he follows 'round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
[Roxie Hart]
He ain't no sheik
That's no great physique
And Lord knows he ain't got the smarts
Oh but look at that soul
I tell you the whole
Is a whole lot greater than
The sum of his parts
And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree
What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why he'd be right there
Taking the blame
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny sunny honey
Hubby of mine

[Amos Hart]
And supposed if...
just supposed if he violated her or something.
You know what
I mean, violated?
[Martin Harrison]
l know what you mean.
[Amos Hart]
Or something. Think how terrible it'd have been.
It's good thing I got home
from work on time. - I'm telling you that.
[Roxie Hart]
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
[Amos Hart]
- I say I'm telling you that.
[Martin Harrison]
The name of deceased is Fred Casely.
[Amos Hart]
Fred Casely? How could he be a burglar?
My wife knows him. He sold us our
furniture. He gave us 10% off.
[Roxie Hart]
Lord knows he ain't got the smarts
[Martin Harrison]
You told me he was the burglar? -
You mean he was dead when you got home?
[Amos Hart]
I'm covering for her. She was telling me cock
and bull story story about this
burglar. And I'd say I did it because
I was sure to get off. 'Help me, Amos.'
she said, 'lt's my goddamn hour-need.'

[Roxie Hart]
Now he shot off his trap
I can't stand that sap
[Amos Hart]
And i believed that cheap little tramp.
She's too smart on me, huh? And i
protected her...
I'm on the garage with my butt 14 hours a day.
And she's now
promoted to a bon-bon?
And traveling around like some goddamn pu***!
She thought she can pull the world by that
I wasn't pulled yet. I tell you that
something that I can take.
And this time she pushed me too far.
I didn't shoot
him. Fool, what a sap I was