I've Underestimated My Charm (Again)

I've Underestimated My Charm (Again)
Like many a Mael,
I get angst in my pants.
And goddamn it to hell,
it don't help if I dance.
And you, you're not doing too well.
All the blogs are about you, girl.
They caught you in the park after dark
giving head to a statue, girl.
Oh, cruel!

Didn't mean to do you no harm,
I just underestimated my charm.
And if I ever bother to tell you the truth,
oh, baby, you're too much sugar
for my sweet tooth.
You're on your honeymoon
and you're sending me notes.
You hope to see me soon.
You've got "see" wrapped
in quotes.
I used to find it funny to say,
"What's your man got to do with me?"
But then I saw him downtown
placing bets on the hounds.
He was as big as a house!
We can't be messin' around!
Every time we kiss
it's like an inside joke
I always miss.
Our love is like a tug-of-war.
Don't touch me, girl,
I can't hug no more!