Toll Booth Willie

Toll Booth Willie
[Car approaches]
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please.\"
[M1:] \"Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!\"
[M1:] \"Aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!\"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch!
I'll come right outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!\"

[Another car approaches]
[M2:] \"Hey, hey, Willie! how's it going?\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Hey, can't complain, pop. how's 'bout you?\"
[M2:] \"Oh, great, great. How much?\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.\"
[M2:] \"That's fine. Now should I give you the money,
or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?\"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Why you fuckin' hard on!
I'll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin' head with a Louise-ville fuckin' slugger!
Whadya think of that ass fuck!?\"

[Another car approaches]
[F1:] \"Hi Willie.\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Oh, nice to see ya M'am. Not a bad day, huh?\"
[F1:] \"Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out?
I hear your the best with directions.\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Well I know my way around New England.
I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?\"
[F1:] \"Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way
to drive up your ass. You know, if you'd tell me,
I'd appreciate it, you fuckin' prick.\"
[Drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"You fuckin' bitch! Fuck you!
You forgot to pay the fuckin' toll you dirty whore!
I'll fuckin' drop you with a boot to the fuckin' skull you cum guzzling queen!\"

[Another car approaches]
[M3:] \"Hey Willie.\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Hey, how are ya?\"
[M3:] \"Here's a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself.\"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Dah, you fuckin' prick!
I hope you choke on a fuckin' bottle cap, ya fuckin' son of a fuck!
Eat shit! Eat my shit!\"

[Another car approaches]
[Bishop Nelson:] \"Hello Willie. Good to see you.\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya.
That was quite a sermon you had the other day.\"
[Bishop Nelson:] \"Hey, well I do my best.\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Dollar twenty-five, Bishop.\"
[Bishop Nelson:] \"Dollar twenty-five,
Willie. Isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job,
you piece of dog shit!?\"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin' lush!
It's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!\"

[Another car approaches]
[M5:] \"Hey!\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Well hey!\"
[M5:] \"Yeah, do you want the money,
or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?\"
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Well, I already heard that one you fuckin' unoriginal bastard!
Go suck a corn you fuckin' piece of repeatin' shit!\"

[Another car approaches]
[F2:] \"Hi.\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Oh, hi. How are ya?\"
[F2:] \"Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?\"
[Toll Booth Willie:]\"For you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five.\"
[F2:] \"Here ya go.\"
[Pays toll]
[F2:] \"Thank you.\"
[Begins to drive off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?\"
[F2:] \"Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much.\"
[Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her]
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"And here ya are.\"
[F2:] \"Umm, do you think you could sign it?\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Oh, uh.. sign it?\"
[F2:] \"Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here.\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?\"
[Signing receipt]
[F2:] \"Just so I could have proof for my friends that
I met the biggest fuckin' dip shit with the smallest dick alive.
You understand.\"
[Drives off]
[Crumples up paper]
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch!
I'll fuckin' fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front
of your fuckin' mothers! You're gonna die, bitch! I'm comin' outta the booth!\"
[Opens the door and runs out of the booth]

[Car screeches and hits him]
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Ooooh! My fuckin' leg!\"
[M6:] \"Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!\"
[M7:] \"Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a
dried up stinky dick licker.\"
[Toll Booth Willie:] \"Why you fuckin' pricks.
I fuckin' hear every fuckin' word yer saying!
When this fuckin' leg heals,
I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin' assholes!

[Everyone cussing eachother out]